Kurama-Sensei
by Beast of Waste and Desolation
Summary: The water was cold and came up to his knees, the wall were cements and covered with large metallic pipes, and Naruto found himself wondering what exactly he was doing in a sewer.


_Kurama-Sensei_

By: Beast of Waste and Desolation

The water was cold and came up to his knees, the wall were cements and covered with large metallic pipes, and Naruto found himself wondering what exactly he was doing in a sewer. But he had always accepted the situations he found himself in rather easily—the ANBU that watched him were quite pleased that he did not panic when he woke up one time and found himself being carried by someone walking straight down the Hokage Monument. Apparently he had fallen asleep on top of the Fourth's head and the ANBU could not be bothered to obey the laws of physics—and so he took in his surroundings and came to the conclusion that he must have been kidnapped by one of those people who called him demon all the time and always seemed to take offense when he acted like a normal human being and not a deranged psychopath.

_Backwards people,_ Naruto sniffed disdainfully. _Had their heads screwed on all wrong_.

Looking around, Naruto came to the conclusion that he had been abandoned since there was no one else around. And since he didn't want to spend anymore time than he had to in a sewer however clean it might seem, Naruto picked a random direction and began walking.

_"Foolish child_," came a voice, rough and melodic, from behind him. "_You are going the wrong way. Turn around and come to me._"

Naruto paused, weighed the merits of following a creepy voice in an unknown place, and continued walking in the same direction he had before.

There was a silence before the voice seemed to realize what had happened.

"_Foolish child!' _It wailed. "_Come to me! I only want to talk! I just want to offer you a way to protect yourself from those frightful village mob that chase after you and beat you up weekly!" _It paused, realized that Naruto was not turning around, before offering, "_I know a way you can get free ramen.'_

Naruto, who had been wondering what exactly the voice was talking about, abruptly turned around and marched towards the voice's origins, sparing a brief thought to the fact that he was too easily bought. Imagine if he had been protecting his village as the Hokage from a dangerous missing-nin, when all of a sudden the enemy bribed him with a couple bowls of ramen and he sat down to eat his meal as Konoha was razed to the ground.

But, still. It was free ramen.

The air was getting warmer, though the water was cold as ever and Naruto wondered what had happened to his shoes because his feet were currently numb, and he found himself shifting uncomfortably in his black—because every few months or so the ANBU would go through his apartment and destroy all things orange and he would have to wear boring colors for a while until he could buy something new—jacket.

He eyes widened briefly as he saw the large cage with a fiery animal inside. It was a giant fox, with way to many tails to be comfortable, and it looked down on him with an expression that he often saw on parents' faces when they were with their kids.

The emotion he was feeling at the moment, Naruto decided, was extreme awkwardness.

There was silence for a few moments.

"So," Naruto said after he got the idea that the fox was only going to stare down at him with a... paternal? maternal? hungry?... expression. "What's this about free ramen?"

"_You have an incredibly one-track mind,"_ the fox said with—was that pride? Naruto cleared his throat.

"_Well,_" said the fox, "_you could at least introduce yourself to me."_

"I'm Naruto," Naruto said, ignoring the voice in the back of his mind that told him he shouldn't be telling a random demonic stranger his name. "Future Hokage." After waiting a few moments to let the creature bask in his greatness, he asked, "So is there free ramen or not?"

The fox stared at him dreamily sighed, "_I've dreamed of you saying that to me for so long."_ Naruto wondered if it was wise to tell the giant demonic fox that he was _so_ not interested in bestiality before it spoke again.

"_I do not have free ramen_," it said. "_My poor, poor child. Forced to eat food he does not enjoy just because other store owners beat him up for wanting to eat something besides garbage."_

"I _love_ ramen," Naruto protested. "And where are you getting all these ideas that I'm being beat up all the time? The ANBU arrest anyone who even look at me funny." He grinned at the memories of those days where almost half the population had been arrested and the eternally late Dog Mask helped him set up _so many _pranks.

Then he frowned because he remembered what the fox had said before that.

"You don't have any ramen? What kind of society is this that one can't even trust creepy voices in sewers anymore?!" He turned to leave.

"_Wait!_" The fox cried. "_Wait! I may not be able to give you ramen, but I can make you freakishly strong. Strong enough to become Hokage, or even stronger. I'll give you scrolls and teach you ninjutsu and chakra control and taijutsu and I'll teach you how to use weapons and I'll be your sensei—!"_

"I'm going to go out on a limb here," Naruto interrupted, "and say that you're the Kyuubi no Kitsune."

"_Such an intelligent child,_" the Kyuubi cried while nodding in affirmation. "_All those villagers never stop beating you long enough to see your true potential!"_

"And," Naruto said ignoring the demon, "I'm going say that this is my mind an you're sealed inside of me."

"_So bright!"_ The Kyuubi bawled. "_So smart! So much potential!" _

"Actually," Naruto said, "Dog Mask told me. His tongue gets miraculously loose after you steal his orange perverted book."

"_My poor, poor child. My poor, poor baby." _The Kyuubi ignored him. "_I shall teach you to harness your power. I shall teach you all the ninja techniques know!" _The sobs quieted down into unintelligible mutterings.

"Ah," Naruto began after a while, "you're a demon fox aren't you? So how do you even know ninja techniques and all that stuff in the first place, much less—?"

"_Logic!"_ The Kyuubi roared, "_Logic has no place in here!" _

Naruto whimpered at the sudden increase in killing intent as he nodded furiously in agreement.

"Yes sir, evil demon sensei. Teach me all the suspicious ninja stuff you want and I won't speak one word of logic! Please don't kill me, please."

The killing intent receded and the Kyuubi beamed down at him.

"_Such a clever boy. Such a brilliant pupil! Please call me Kurama-sensei."_ The fox frowned suddenly and Naruto tensed in apprehension of the next mood swing. "_It seems that you are needed in the conscious world. Until you fall asleep again, dear Naruto! I miss you already!"_

* * *

"You're finally awake." Dog Mask's visage swam into focus as Naruto opened his eyes. "You looked like you were having a nightmare."

Naruto threw himself at Dog Mask, who grunted in surprise, and started bawling in relief.

"It was _so scary!" _Naruto wailed. "I saw the Kyuubi and it was _complimenting_ me and it was saying I got beat up and acting crazy and it was going to _teach_ me things and it was _bipolar or something_-!"

Naruto drew back in horror, ignoring Dog Mask's sudden coughing fit.

"It said it would see me again next time I fell asleep!" He shuddered in fright. "I'm _never_ going to sleep again!"

* * *

Thus, two jinchuurikis were made insomniacs.


End file.
